Some Things Are Just Plain Wrong
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This page last updated 03/18/2018

A salute to alternate sexuality

superman blow up doll
I can see how this would appeal to some people.

sponge bob

"Oh yes.  Inflate me baby. Faster!  Faster!"

hand job
Well, I'd be happier if I could get a girl to do it...

It's not the size that matters...

Push!  Push!

ass pudding
From the people who brought you "Two Girls, One Cup."

bone in butt
I have some friends that would probably like this.

pedi file
Specialty marketing at its best!

csndle salad

This is a candle salad.  This was a kid favorite many years ago.  I suspect one would get in quite a bit of a fix if they served it to children now.  Did the salad's original maker even know about the, er, symbolism in this?  I wonder.  Now, it's just wrong.

A knockoff of an American brand.  Good lord, I can just imagine what the commercials for this are like.

fduck he duck
It's bad enough that we eat them.  And now...

soup for sluts
"Cheap, fast and easy." 

gay water
I have these horrible images of what they'd do with the bottle once they drank the water.

hardon tea
I can see where there would be a market for this.

golden shower

This was the title for a porno film in the 1980s, if I'm not mistaken.

I don't think doing that would keep bugs away.

whore magazine

How do they get the time to print their own magazine and...

A cup of coffee would be really great right now.

ho made pies
Because everyone knows that prostitutes make really great pies.

homo gal
Homo gal won't you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight...

I'll bet you do.

happy crack
Not even a little lube?

As Rod Serling would say, "No comment.  No comment at all."

Best ad campaign EVER.

tayass why?
I'm lovin' it.

Strange Ingredients

boy syrup
Ingredients are better imagined than described.

tit koon yum tea
One wonders about the ingredients list.

spotted dick

I suppose there are areas where this product would be very popular.

cock soup

I don't like the mental images that this brings to me.  And it's spicy.  Oh god, take it away.

pocari sweat
One wonders how they harvest their main ingredient.

vegetarian haggis

This  is wrong on so very many levels.

only puke

But at least it's pure.

Oh dear god.

child meat
First there was Soylent Green.  And now...

pee cola

He must have a really bad case of hepatitis.

Confounding signs

now hiring losers

Honesty in advertising.

"No, you want the casa de las heses, right down the street..."

fuking restaurant

Think of the fun you can have with the telephone operator: "I'd like the fucking Chiense restaurant's phone number."  "There's no reason to use that sort of language..."

dennys turd
Denny's claims it's a sausage.  It's a turd.  And a smiling turd at that.  To give them some credit, they have a sense of humor about it, and have no plans to change it.

bass poro shop
Sign outside the Bass Pro Shop, Columbia MO.  Three things that go really well together.

baby bake

Someone read Swift's "A Modest Proposal" and took it to heart.

baby needs wine
Of course it does.

baby rape
Another in a fine series of baby products.

do not open
The only reason they have this sign here is because at some point, someone did just that.

I would hang around just to see who is qualified to use this.

ironic image
Can something be so ironic that it's wrong too?

crappu mood
Sign outside of a local restaurant.  How can they enforce that?  How do they define crappy?

Sure, I was drunk when I dreamed this up.  So what?

pie chart
So that comes to 104%.  Makes sense to me.  But why are the parts of the graph different sizes if the percentages are the same?

shit yourself
Not since I was a kid.

wasted and broke
They know their market base.

strange backpack
If you like backpacks, Sonic the hedgehog, Harry Potter, tulips or President Obama, we've got you covered.

super shitters
So I guess pressing a big log is a real accomplishment now.

Oh, the indignity

An alien named Frieza destroys your planet, this guy named Goku keeps beating you up, and your wife Bulma bosses you around.  And then someone names a sissy spice mix after you, and they don't even use a good likeness.  I tell you, there's no justice in this world.

jonah hex
Sure, it's the best comic book cover ever.  But it's still wrong.